无码视频

Young transgender, or trans, people face high rates of . These elevated mental health risks largely  such as discrimination, victimization and, most especially,  rather than from being trans.

Em Matsuno, a  at Palo Alto University, is developing and testing an online training program called the  to help parents better understand and . Matsuno spoke with The Conversation U.S. about their findings and how parents can be better advocates鈥攁nd avoid common missteps鈥攚hen a child identifies as trans or nonbinary. Their edited discussion is republished here with permission.

What are common challenges parents with trans kids face?

A big one is fear. Parents fear for their child鈥檚 safety. For example, they fear their kid will be bullied, so they may say, 鈥淣o, I don鈥檛 want you to wear that to school.鈥� Or if they don鈥檛 have knowledge about trans identities, they may feel overwhelmed or not know what to do. And they worry about messing up themselves鈥攕aying or doing the wrong thing.

Another barrier is the beliefs and attitudes that parents may have. Parents may have grown up learning misconceptions about gender. For example: the belief that one鈥檚 sex assigned at birth鈥搘hich is typically based on anatomy鈥攊s the same thing as , or that gender is strictly male or female.

If extended family or their community is conservative, the parents themselves can experience rejection from others as well. People will tell them it鈥檚 bad parenting if they let their kid transition. Sometimes parents have to risk being rejected by their loved ones, and it can put them in a difficult position as well.

What does the research say about parental support?

A 2016 study showed that trans children who were supported by their parents had  as a control group.

Certainly, there have been studies about trans youth . As a result, some people think that being trans makes someone more likely to suffer from mental health risks. But really what we see is that it鈥檚 not about being trans but .

One of the studies I worked on looked at  for trans youth鈥搕heir friend/peer group, the trans community and their family. Of those three, family support was the strongest predictor of depression, anxiety, and resilience. It鈥檚 unfortunate because a lot of trans people lose their family support and have to rely on others, but family has the greatest impact.

Online resources advise parents to support a trans child by using their pronouns, advocating for them, educating themselves and showing unconditional love. What would you add or emphasize?

Get your own support. A lot of times parents say they鈥檙e 100% supportive and accepting, and yet they still feel feelings鈥攕ad or anxious鈥攁nd that鈥檚 OK. It doesn鈥檛 mean you鈥檙e not supportive. But sharing all your emotional difficulties with your kid can make them feel like a burden or that they are causing you all this distress. If parents can鈥檛 find other parents in their local community, there are online support groups. And get professional support if you can.

What common myths or disinformation do you find most troubling?

The main one is 鈥渞apid onset gender dysphoria.鈥� It sounds like a medical term, but it鈥檚 not used in trans health whatsoever and is based in . This often manifests itself in the idea that, 鈥淥h my God, all of a sudden my child is trans. They must be influenced by peers.鈥�

A lot of time, kids reach puberty and all of a sudden there are feelings of discomfort. Or maybe it was happening before but they weren鈥檛 sharing it with a parent, so it feels sudden to the parent but not to the child.

There鈥檚 also a lot of disinformation around gender-affirming medical care, which is a big stressor to a lot of parents. There鈥檚 this fear: 鈥淲hat if they change their minds?鈥�

Cases of regret after transitioning are . As for puberty blockers, they are . Often, trans people don鈥檛 know what鈥檚 right for them until they . Yes, there are , but there are also significant risks associated with continued gender dysphoria.

Why are more kids today identifying as trans?

Trans and nonbinary people have been around for  across  and . So it鈥檚  . But there鈥檚 been an  .

Now there鈥檚 more visibility, more acceptance, and younger generations are also learning earlier on about trans identities. They have what trans actress and activist Laverne Cox calls 鈥�,鈥� where they can think, 鈥淥h, this is an option for me.鈥� For a lot of trans people my age or older, that wasn鈥檛 a thing we knew about.

What can parents say to show support when a trans child comes out?

Parents can recognize their kid鈥檚 bravery and show gratitude by saying, 鈥淭hank you for letting me know.鈥� Also, explicitly say you love them. Trans kids fear rejection when coming out, so very explicit support is important.

Common reactions are to say, 鈥淣o, you鈥檙e confused. You鈥檙e just gay/lesbian. Are you sure?鈥� Or asking too many questions, which kind of puts the kid on trial: 鈥淗ow did you know? When did you know?鈥� They fire all these questions, and the underlying message is 鈥淚 don鈥檛 believe you鈥� or 鈥淚 don鈥檛 approve.鈥�

A better approach is to say, 鈥淚s it OK for me to ask some questions, or do you need some time?鈥� Parents can also ask their kid, 鈥淗ow can I support you?鈥� With younger kids, they might give some examples: 鈥淒o you want me to use 鈥榟e鈥� when I refer to you, or not? What sounds good to you?鈥�

Any final advice for parents?

Learn to tolerate ambiguity, uncertainty, and fluidity. Parents often want to know who their child is going to be, with certainty, stability, and consistency. That rigidness comes from anxiety.

But things won鈥檛 always be clear. Allow your child to come to their own answers. I think with kids there鈥檚 a lot of exploration, so things can change and that鈥檚 OK. Openness from parents allows them to be who they are.

This article was originally published by聽. It has been published here with permission.