Enough Finger-Pointing: That Kid in the MAGA Hat Is My Kid! (He鈥檚 Yours, Too)

It鈥檚 so easy to point fingers. And we shouldn鈥檛 be so quick to do so.

But in this case, despite what many media outlets are trying to tell us a week out from that Lincoln Memorial encounter, we should be pointing.

And yes, also at our own children.

It鈥檚 right to publicly repudiate that smirking, sneering White face under a red MAGA cap, planted inches from wisdom being manifest by and through Nathan Phillips. It鈥檚 right to denounce the mocking mimicry of Native dance being performed by White bodies surrounding Phillips and Nick Sandmann, and the sarcastic comments you can hear on any of the videos鈥斺€渄ude, 飞丑补迟鈥檚 going on???鈥濃€� repeated not as a real question but as an invitation to more ridiculing laughter, and, yes, even the 鈥渢omahawk chop.鈥�

So, yes, point fingers. But let鈥檚 also have a real conversation about our children鈥檚 mournful display of racist behavior.

Here鈥檚 a group of White youth clearly ignorant about the reality that Native peoples are living, breathing, diverse human beings who have inherent dignity. Here is a group of White boys walking around with an emboldened sense of being so untouchable that the thought of showing deference to an elder never seems to cross their minds. (Let us not pretend here. I don鈥檛 care who you are or how complex you think the larger context of the day鈥檚 events makes things鈥攚e all know those kids would have showed at least some deference if the man standing before them had been White.)

What鈥檚 been held up is a mirror, and 飞丑补迟鈥檚 being reflected back is the terrifying state of our national present and plenty of good reasons to fear what this may portend. Mirrors can be haunting. The closer you peer into a mirror, the more you get drawn in to the never-ending spiral of images that fold and reflect back upon themselves, repeating over and over and over.

We White adults who bear the daunting responsibility of actually raising White youth in the United States would do well to recognize and acknowledge that those same behaviors that were on display for all the world to see were our own not so long ago.

And the White kid in the video? That鈥檚, my kid, today. Guess what? He鈥檚 yours, too.

Those fingers we鈥檙e pointing should also be directed toward us.

Don鈥檛 miss me. I know there鈥檚 a whole ton, and more, of White caregivers who wouldn鈥檛 let their kids go anywhere near a so-called 鈥淢arch for Life.鈥� I certainly wouldn鈥檛. And I鈥檓 pretty sure a whole cadre of White kids coming up right now may as well get used to the idea they鈥檙e never going to be allowed out of the house in a red baseball hat again. Because I don鈥檛 care if it鈥檚 actually a National Honor Society logo. If there鈥檚 any chance my little blond child might be mistaken as endorsing the White nationalist agenda now ravaging this country, even from a distance or for a moment鈥攚ell, it鈥檚 just not happening.

But I鈥檓 not talking about these obvious things.

Most of us responsible for raising White kids鈥攏ot just White parents, but coaches, neighbors, uncles, retail clerks, grandmas, clergy people, teachers鈥攄on鈥檛 really know what we should be doing differently and, frankly, haven鈥檛 made it a priority to learn.

That鈥檚 so much scarier than what actually happened on the Mall that day. And the implications are far more devastating.

Let鈥檚 go back to the 鈥渢omahawk chop,鈥� for one teeny, tiny example.

You鈥檇 never know it from the way some journalists are writing about White youth right now, but you know who actually can learn that the tomahawk chop is a racist, anti-Native White ritual?

Young White kids. Like, really young ones.

Kids are smart.

Meanwhile, even if yours don鈥檛 watch football, they鈥檝e almost certainly been exposed to performances of the tomahawk chop. So, if you haven鈥檛 actively created opportunities to talk through with them what the tomahawk chop is and why it鈥檚 so racist… well, then, guess what? That鈥檚 your kid out there on the Mall.

Our children and youth (like us) are exposed to an infinite array of other images, rituals, cartoons, words, story lines that are also deeply anti-Native. These all nurture and sustain deformed public U.S. narratives about Native peoples. The narratives are so powerful and pervasive that lots of young non-Native U.S. children just assume Native peoples are mythical鈥攎ore like 鈥渇airies鈥� (at best)鈥攊nstead of human beings who exist on this land base; many have active land rights struggles going on as we speak.

If I don鈥檛, early and often (and over again), interrupt these narratives, if I don鈥檛 teach my White children to learn to notice the ways Native peoples are spoken of and about, if don鈥檛 show them that we who are not Native have to actively seek out different understanding, knowledge, and awareness because of the ways our collective colonial-supremacist histories continue to shape our lives in the present, if I don鈥檛 then model how to do that, then the person I should be pointing at is me.

It is time for us to point the finger at ourselves, accept the blame for this racist behavior, and stop making excuses for it.

Have we brainstormed and strategized with our White 15-year-olds about how they will intervene, not if, but when they find themselves in a group of youth who start to engage in racist 鈥減lay鈥�?

Have we brainstormed and strategized with our 5-year-olds about how they will intervene, not if, but when they鈥檙e with a group of kids and one of the White ones makes fun of the skin, hair or name of one of the Black or Latino/a ones?

White kids can be raised to be anti-racist and interrupt racism even if and as they, like we White adults, remain constantly enmeshed in racist systems that seek to benefit us to secure our complicity day after day.

So, if you鈥攍ike me鈥攈ave found yourself among the group of White adults pointing at those kids, then you鈥攍ike me鈥攏eed to decide just who it is you鈥檙e pointing at and what your next move is going to be.

Nothing about the more 鈥渃omplex鈥� set of encounters in any way excuses or exonerates any of the very obvious (and common) racist group behaviors of the Covington High School youth.

Don鈥檛 fall for the whitening of this narrative. If you’re not convinced, do the research. Start with 聽of this event.

Our White youth deserve us expecting and demanding better of them.

This article was originally published on . It has been edited for YES! Magazine.聽